How to Keep your family together; how to be a good father (Father's day)
Jesus warns us today- Love Me more than your father, mother, son, daughter.
His language is even stronger in the omitted verses- JC says I didn’t
come for peace, I came with a sword and I’m going to turn family members
against one another. What does He mean by that? Quite simply, JC directs
us to love Him/God more than anyone else. If others (even family) don’t
share that same love/priority for God that may cause conflict and division.
- I want to tell you today, especially fathers on Father’s Day,
how to use the Sword of Christ.
The Sword of Christ is the Truth about who He is as God and the truth
about how to follow Him as Lord.
A sword has a sharp blade for cutting. You must learn how to cut out the
unnecessary and sinful parts of your life.
Epistle (Heb. 12:1) “Lay aside every weight and sin.” Sin
is spiritual cancer. Unless it is eradicated or removed, it will continue
to grow. Unchecked, it will take over and destroy essential aspects of
our soul/psyche.
- A surgeon is not someone, who just comes off the street, picks up a
scapel at the front desk of the hospital and begins operating. Rather,
a surgeon is highly educated and trained, with many years of study and
practice.
You too, fathers and mothers, must be highly educated and trained in the
ways of God before you can deftly wield the sword of Truth. Would a surgeon
graduate from medical school, pass his/her boards and receive his license
if he attended class once a month and when she did, came half way through
or near the end of class? Rarely opened their books and studied at home?
Decided to do something else, when it was time to watch/help the attending
surgeon?
No way! If we want to be good fathers and mothers, we first must be good
Christians, lovers and followers of Christ.
How can we learn/become Christians when we rarely/irregularly attend His
school—the Church? When we come late to the class He teaches—the
Divine Liturgy? When we rarely open His textbook—the Bible?
Think of what message/example you give your children when you say or practice
“We don’t need to go to Church. We don’t need to be
on time. We don’t need to pray. Why? Because we have something more
important to do.”
When we do these things, are we not denying Christ? (Mt. 10:32) Are we
worthy of Him? (Mt. 10:37) To do these things requires sacrifice, which
means taking up your Cross for Christ (Mt. 10:38). However, you’re
also doing it for your spouse and your kids. Learning and growing in your
relationship with Christ requires sacrifice.
- Once you learn how to use the sword, you can correctly start to eliminate
self-serving habits from your life. Think of the powerful transformative
example you set by being truthful and not lying, by giving instead of
taking (esp. that which is not yours), by respecting through kind and
complimentary words and not denigrating or humiliating through physical
and verbal abuse. Learning how and what to cut out is very important.
A surgeon must know what is cancer and what is good tissue. We cannot
cut indiscriminately like many fundamentalist do, taking out good things
with the bad. This discernment helps us prioritize what is most important
for our life. In addition, it helps us prioritize what is most important
for our family. How often do we let one person’s obligations/preferences/priorities
interfere with our relationship with Christ? I cannot pray or read the
bible because my spouse doesn’t pray. We only come to church when
our whole family can come. Sorry, can’t be there, our kids have
a practice or a game today. I would give more to support the ministries
of the church but my spouse doesn’t want to. Who is more important
here—Christ or our spouse, children, parents?
- Finally, we must overcome our fear of losing our family if we love Christ
more than them. Fathers and mothers, your love will be more pure/full
for your kids, if you love Christ first. In turn, the love your kids have
for you and each other will be more full too because they will have your
example and they too will also have direct access/opportunity to learn.
You will be saying to them, “I love you in Christ,” not instead
of Christ (Augustine). Unfortunately, at times our love for Christ can
cause conflict and division in families. However, one CF said, “God
brings disunity to relationships to break an evil unity.” If this
is the case, the division is necessary for the salvation of all. Even
if we lose a relationship with a parent, a child, a spouse or a sibling
because of the sword of Christ, St. Cyril of Alexandria says that God
and His Saints become our family. What a comforting message to remember
on this day—the Sunday of All Saints.